Queer Authenticity & Attachment

Authenticity: To know what we feel, to be in touch with our bodies, and to express who we are in our activities and relationships

Attachment: The life-sustaining relationship bonds, formed in infancy that create our template for adult relationships 

 For children growing up in volatile homes, making the “choice”  between attachment (to our caregivers) and authenticity (within ourselves) is rarely a choice at all – our survival demands we choose attachment.

Now adults, the process of trying to integrate authenticity and attachment can be confusing, painful, and lonely. This is often amplified for LGBTQ populations.

Queer Authenticity & Attachment is a support-style group that meets weekly to address the seeming paradox of these values. Members will relate about areas of life where they are trying to concurrently practice authenticity, while creating or maintaining healthy attachments in their lives.

During sessions, clients can expect to give and receive support, build a community of strength and solidarity, and mutually practice and inspire repatterning. This group is designed to help members navigate different phases of life development and bridge different phases of healing.

To learn more about the tension between Authenticity and Attachment,
watch this clip from noted addictions researcher,
Dr. Gabor Maté.

“If I express what I feel and insist on my own truth, ... I risk losing the relationships on which my life depends.”
— Dr. Gabor Maté

Topics explored in this group include:

  • Ableism and aging

  • Accessing motivation for self-care

  • ADHD

  • Alone time

  • Being “good”

  • Being disliked

  • Being too much; not being enough

  • Belonging

  • Becoming our parents

  • Boundary needs for child Self and adult Self

  • Boundaries with attachment figures

  • Boundaries of Self & Other

  • Childhood neglect

  • Codependency

  • Community relationships with people who’ve hurt you

  • Concern for parents as adult children

  • Constellations

  • Definitions of success or failure

  • Directness in social settings

  • Distress tolerance

  • Egocentrism; traumatic Self orientation

  • Emotional immaturity

  • Expressive arts

  • Family of origin experiences

  • Gendered language and socializations

  • Group dynamics related to conflict

  • Illness and isolation

  • Independence and interdepence

  • Inner loving parent

  • Interpersonal boundaries

  • Issues related to housing

  • Material impacts of prejudice across difference

  • Materialism

  • Martyrdom

  • Needing help (individualism)

  • Not disassociating during grief

  • The intergenerational wealth of having emotionally mature parents

  • Pride and shame

  • Relationship dynamics

  • Relationship expectations

  • Right sizedness; humility

  • Self and community care

  • Staying present

  • “Therapy speak,” soothing communication

  • Transphobia

  • Vulnerability/boundary setting

  • “Vulnerability hangovers”

  • Window of Tolerance

To express interest in joining the next Queer Authenticity & Attachment cycle,

Complete the Interest Form